So I may or may not have buckled and eaten a lot of bad stuff 😒
But I do not feel bad about this for the simple reason that I have just done something that really scared me, and I naturally dove straight to my comfort blanket.
For the first time, I admitted that I needed help.
Telling numerous people about what you are going through is daunting. Telling them stuff they would never have guessed is scary. Telling them how much I weigh has been downright mortifying.
As you may have guessed by now, my weight is the one thing that has bothered me more than anything else, and the one thing that has troubled me since school. And I’ve never been one to turn to people for help. It’s not that I’m a proud person, because I’m really not. It’s because I’ve always thought of myself as headstrong and that needing people is a sign of weakness. I’ve no idea where this thought ever came from but I have always kept things to myself without the request of outside
interference.
But people have been so incredibly supportive. I always knew I had a fabulous support group around me but the messages of support and offers of help have been so overwhelming that the enormity of what is happening really hit me.
I am Changing.
For someone who has been set in her ways for more than 10 years, this is a truly formidable mindset that I am trusting myself to achieve. But I am ready. And as I have previously wrote, this has been the tiniest curve on my River of Life. I am happy to accept that the blip has happened; I didn’t enjoy it at all; lesson learned. Until next time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So here I am, back in the place I started. No regrets but a kinda sad feeling of determination. I'm doing this for me. Because I can finally admit I deserve it.
Until the next post, Big Love xx