(...and feeling like a failure)
A major symptom of mental health, for me especially, is food cravings. Specifically, sugary foods. And in moments of mental weakness when, frankly, you are focusing on other matters, it's all too easy to give in to these cravings.
What I'm trying to say, if you haven't gathered already, is that I am, once again, struggling. And I'm feeling all the emotions.
The curse of anxiety-sufferers is that we seem to willingly take on extra worries when they're not really our worries to worry about. In other words, we just need to hear that one of our nearest and dearest is having a rough time to send our minds into overdrive. When we know that everything is not okay with everyone, we worry for all involved. It's just what we do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And unfortunately, with these extra worries on top of our own comes the extra sugar or extra caffeine or extra any (typically) bad food. For me anyway. And naturally the extra sugar means headaches, lower mood and generally feeling like crap. And a failure. Updating my website (which promotes Changes for the better) when I'm feeling like this actually makes me feel like somewhat of a fraud.
But, the thing is, worrying about others is natural but there are ways we can, and should, manage it. Simply letting someone know you are there for them can release some of the excess weight off of someone's shoulders. Giving that person a call and letting them rant away for a while can also help. This doesn't mean that you need to take on their worries. It just means you are being supportive by offering an ear or a shoulder to cry on.
If you think about it, there are always stories in the news of people who are suffering. And it's easy to read these stories and feel sorry for the victims but, likely as they seem to be worlds away from us, we carry on with life and forget about them. So in a way worries, albeit usually not the same kinds of worries we read about, being closer to home seem to make them suddenly real. And if it's someone we know, or are friends with, or related to, it can hit harder.
At the end of the day though, we have to acknowledge that it is a very rare thing indeed for somebody's life to be completely problem-free and perfect. Everyone has worries. Everybody needs to pay bills. And in this day and age, it's natural for people to worry about, well, pretty much everything.
We also have to acknowledge that even though we may feel like it, we are not failures. I am not a failure. I am caring of others. But I still want to Change. I still want the better me, that doesn't binge on sugar or lie in bed for days on end. I also know this will take time. That there is a lot to fix, but I will "Fix things a little at a time". And any creases on the Journey to do this can be ironed out.
One little step at a time.
Until the next post, Big Love xx